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- Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you, it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
- When Jack Bauer eats out, his favorite meal is Chinese. Not the food, the people.
- When Santa Claus asked Jack Bauer what he wanted for Christmas, he snapped his neck. No one interrogates Jack Bauer and gets away with it.
- Two hands can beat a royal flush: Jack Bauer’s right hand, and his left.
- If everyone on “24” followed Jack Bauer’s instructions, it would be called “12”.