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- Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you, it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
- In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What have you done with your life?.
- Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer’s mind. Now he’s sitting in a wheelchair.
- During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.
- Two hands can beat a royal flush: Jack Bauer’s right hand, and his left.