-
- Because of a warlock bite, the ears will first begin to emit such a foul stench that anyone in range (including the victim) will vomit constantly. The only known cure is to have sex
- The bite of a lich will cause the lungs to begin to emit music by vibrating, until the skeletal system has shattered into dust as the anus also begin to shrivel and eventually turn inside-out. The resulting agonizing pain will lead to madness and eventual death. The only known cure is to inhale the breath of a zombie
- After angering faeries, the bowels will first begin to crawl with maggots, then the tongue will start to convert to mithril. As the infection spreads, mobility decreases, but value increases. Sadly, there is no known cure
- Due to an infection acquired while defecating in some dirty place, first the genitals will start to slowly become a gelatinous hot pink slime. The only known cure is to bathe in salt
- Due to angering gnolls, the underarms will first secrete a filthy red exudate, then the hair will begin to develop a phosphorescent glow. The only known cure is to partake of an exotic animal