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- Morwise the Righteous plays war games using miniaturized zombies
- Congar tries to transmute speculative essays into bats
- Finlius desperately seeks one particular, special instance of werewolves
- Malimus, Most Prime Pilot of the Dying Glory bred, combined, invented, or created them, but is now upset with the declining quality of pigs
- Barian the Druid wants to create perfect speculative essays