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- Winthrop “Winnie” Chaplin-Brown is secretly in love with Delilah Rasputin.
- Kätchen Iris Von Schroeder is secretly in love with William Asher Church.
- Button Hastings is reading Hayagrava (written in Scythian (Ancient Central Asia and Near East, very dubious, Hieroglyphic Hittite)) at Physical plant and laundry.
- Maynard Creasy III is secretly in love with Raphael Dupree.
- Viola “Tracker” McKinney is plagiarizing the work of Eva Phibes.