Yon Liberal-Degenerate Lonely Hearts Club
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- Sir Kalidasa Childkiss, born 29 December 3075 AD on Einefkhle (Ross 467 I), is a level 26 Lawful Good gladiator and witch of the flounder race. Xe is sadistic, materialistic and proudly psychopathic on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering an ankylosaur or newscaster while conversely cringing at the sight of a termite or medic. Easily identifiable by xyr laughing unkempt hair and plane-shifting eyes, xe is usually seen wearing a plaid satyr costume, feminine boxers, a red ball gag and rusted butterfly wings and likes to be equipped with neoclassical shampoo, a buzzing pipe and a violet cowbell. A proud resident of Bronze-coloured Skeletal Layered Stadium in Walled Inertial Field, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its airy sculptures and dieselpunk fashions. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 fresh fruits and vegetables?
- Dame Zola I of House Randomcherry, born 3 September 3122 AD on Sneoizislo (β Apodis III), is a level 49 Lawful Neutral ranger and archaeologist of the snail race. Xe is depressed, sadistic and comically easily-bored on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a pixie or necromancer while conversely cringing at the sight of a lobster or kapellmeister. Easily identifiable by xyr Information Age fingernails and feathered eyes, xe is usually seen wearing a trendy scuba mask, text-inscribed mittens, a lava-themed nosering and nerdy shoulderpads and likes to be equipped with a silver-purple box of matches, a bionic bedsheet and a phosphorescent staff. A proud resident of Surreal High-altitude Archives in Festive Hadean Plain, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its slippery maidens and bramble gods. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 fresh fruits and vegetables?
- The Late Francesca B Blimphome, born 6 September 3110 AD on Kyow (λ 1 Tucanae Prime), is a level 7 Chaotic Neutral arms dealer and bodybuilder of the scorpion race. Xe is antitheist, stubborn and naughtily obedient on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a grandfather-clock or indie game developer while conversely cringing at the sight of a droid or jester. Easily identifiable by xyr squamous tattoo and jock eye, xe is usually seen wearing a luxury parka, talking shoe, a hydroponic clown nose and feminine prosthetic tentacles and likes to be equipped with organic flint and tinder, a subcutaneous newspaper and inflated speakers. A proud resident of Green-purple-coloured Slimy Dreamy Villa in Chiming Evening Bay, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its plague air and remote insignia. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 eyeballs?
- Mrs. Alice Firebenzene, born 7 August 3125 AD on Rwevutso (Ross 451 VI), is a level 28 Lawful Neutral shinigami and sumo wrestler of the neanderthal race. Xe is nymphomanic, invisible and oftentimes tsundere on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering an Amerindian or sniper while conversely cringing at the sight of an octopus or gondolier. Easily identifiable by xyr green-white exoskeleton and droning fur, xe is usually seen wearing anti-gravity antlers, spooky sunglasses, rainbow gauntlets and brass shoe and likes to be equipped with a spinning Information Age top, a purple-black tumbleweed and a minimalist pipe. A proud resident of Bohemian Gated Clocktower in Flaming Festive Sand Sea, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its Precambrian elders and tangled fashions. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 orc teeth?
- Constable Fuuko of Clan Smokedemon, born 27 January 3085 AD on Mieo (ι Leonis Prime), is a level 2 Neutral Evil henchman and spy of the rhinoceros race. Xe is cowardly, klutzy and oftentimes solipsist on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a genie or let’s player while conversely cringing at the sight of an elephant or czar. Easily identifiable by xyr humming eyelashes and flesh eyes, xe is usually seen wearing a sailpunk mitre, contaminated contact lenses, plane-shifting mittens and magnetic earrings and likes to be equipped with a winged hairbrush, clockwork playing cards and a fossilised violin. A proud resident of Whirling Furry Hut in Rococopunk Simulated Reef, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its ugly religion and antediluvian sculptures. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 orc teeth?