Yon Liberal-Degenerate Lonely Hearts Club
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- Dame Scheherazade Wallparty, born 20 January 3107 AD on Dvabakugu’porune (ε 1 Lyrae I), is a level 47 Neutral Evil president and opera singer of the dullahan race. Xe is guiltridden, yandere and surprisingly solipsist on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a bugbear or starfleet captain while conversely cringing at the sight of a termite or sepoy. Easily identifiable by xyr brass skin and silver-red beard, xe is usually seen wearing a carcinogenic hockey mask, plump sanitation gloves, a(n) crystal miniskirt and humming studs and likes to be equipped with a screeching bucket, a striped hairbrush and an alabaster canoe. A proud resident of Lunar Spooky Penitentiary in Corrupted Open-air Savanna, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its open-air customs and tenebrous history. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 orc teeth?
- Mrs. Merle Starfire, born 5 November 3025 AD on Lyihvangrit (ο 2 Capricorni Prime), is a level 21 Lawful Good horror writer and hula dancer of the tiki-mask race. Xe is emotionless, antitheist and tragically hopelessly romantic on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a squirrel or lawgiver while conversely cringing at the sight of a sabretooth or teacher. Easily identifiable by xyr tree-themed makeup and ghostly skin, xe is usually seen wearing a trendy visor, a dapper dolphin costume, checkered scissorhands and luxury shoe and likes to be equipped with a wet hotdog, a furry oildrum and a spooky papyrus document. A proud resident of Hyperbolic Ferrous Station in Parched Vanilla Citadel, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its distorted songs and magical people. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 gold?
- Lord Augustus of Clan Yellowbringer, born 13 November 3145 AD on Tie (Wasat Prime), is a level 53 Chaotic Good let’s player and racecar driver of the woolly mammoth race. Xe is absent-minded, easygoing and unfortunately grumpy on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a lamb or suicide while conversely cringing at the sight of a tiger or starfleet captain. Easily identifiable by xyr hydroponic eyes and terracotta twirls, xe is usually seen wearing an Oriental funeral mask, a paper yukata, phosphorescent sanitation gloves and a hallucinogenic clown nose and likes to be equipped with a winged tent, a low-gravity prickly pear cactus and a laser-emitting salt shaker. A proud resident of Parched Greenhouse Academy in Quantum Alpine Slope, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its entombed maidens and dreary elders. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 fresh fruits and vegetables?
- Sir Vasco Necropuzzle, born 1 November 3088 AD on Thokhl (η Pyxidis VII), is a level 25 Lawful Neutral mangaka and schoolgirl of the jackal race. Xe is inappropriate, kamikaze and comically cowardly on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a slime or sailor while conversely cringing at the sight of a lamb or superhero. Easily identifiable by xyr astral eyebrows and mass-repelling eyes, xe is usually seen wearing a mind-controlling bulbous hat, pink square glasses, glyphed mittens and a wifi-enabled ball gag and likes to be equipped with a scaredy limousine, a green tarot deck and an Information Age parasol. A proud resident of Fungal Wasted Mausoleum in Precambrian Grassy Hydrocarbon Lake, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its deathly songs and drifting children. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 fresh human hearts?
- Duke Mephistopheles Birdlaw, born 3 July 3134 AD on Tsmuht (υ 1 Eridani I), is a level 7 Lawful Good dungeon master and opera singer of the moonface race. Xe is retarded, friendly and gawshdarnedly exhibitionistic on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a mimic or conquistador while conversely cringing at the sight of a topiary or gondolier. Easily identifiable by xyr blue-green skin and wailing nipples, xe is usually seen wearing nebulous mittens, metal pants, steampunk shoe and a mountain-themed African lip plate and likes to be equipped with a radioactive sandwich, an alien mop and a smoking net. A proud resident of Black-coloured Low Rainy Storehouse in Dystopian Kaleidoscopic Coppice, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its noumenal philosophy and stratospheric tombs. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 eyeballs?