Yon Liberal-Degenerate Lonely Hearts Club
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- Mr. Vasco of the Order of Rocklove, born 14 January 3110 AD on Rulzavtuzepa (Brachium Prime), is a level 7 Neutral Evil president and merchant of the ceratopsian race. Xe is outgoing, kamikaze and curiously childish on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a blimp or monk while conversely cringing at the sight of a tengu or African warlord. Easily identifiable by xyr mountain-themed chelicerae and screeching eyes, xe is usually seen wearing a cotton witch hat, a green cassock, a(n) purple-black gown and a(n) cosmic walker exoskeleton and likes to be equipped with a sadistic quill pen, a neurotic sponge and a fractal hammer. A proud resident of Distorted Limestone Arcade in Sacrificial Festive Broadleaf Forest, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its prosperous institutions and misty priesthood. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 orc teeth?
- Monsignor Nicodemus Cagejumper, born 30 April 3107 AD on Ulaktlowozir (ψ Scorpii IV), is a level 5 Chaotic Evil superhero and engineer of the millipede race. Xe is friendly, pedophilic and strangely humble on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering an Aryan or hikikomori while conversely cringing at the sight of a firefly or let’s player. Easily identifiable by xyr satanic fuzzy hair and surrealist nails, xe is usually seen wearing a teal funeral mask, a(n) plaid tartan skirt, green-purple shoe and a winged ball gag and likes to be equipped with an emo watermelon, a translucent syringe and a satanic hook. A proud resident of Sepulchral Plague Harbour in Obsidian-coloured Limestone Subtropical Hill, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its fractal police and pulsating queen. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 gold?
- Monsignor Stanislav Orangebat, born 25 November 3084 AD on Eakuooto (λ 2 Fornacis II), is a level 47 Chaotic Neutral harpooner and doge of the shiba-inu race. Xe is insomniac, childish and comically materialistic on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a camel or MMO gold seller while conversely cringing at the sight of a wolf or rickshaw driver. Easily identifiable by xyr translucent fuzzy hair and angelic fur, xe is usually seen wearing keratinous gauntlets, noumenal jeans, punk shoe and a cave-themed tonguestud and likes to be equipped with a flesh teapot, a pulsating air purifier and a coarse doughnut. A proud resident of Green-white-coloured Ionic Ruined Igloo in Willowy Forbidden Wastes, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its nectary king and punji transport hubs. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 fresh fruits and vegetables?
- Miss Sasha Lambcard, born 28 October 3128 AD on Kstotele (Lalande 22667 VII), is a level 20 Neutral Evil imam and cleric of the ice-golem race. Xe is dapper, autistic and sadly frugal on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering a treant or chef while conversely cringing at the sight of a moonface or shaman. Easily identifiable by xyr punk saliva and purple-white eyes, xe is usually seen wearing violet square glasses, glyphed fingerless gloves, a(n) sun-themed miniskirt and a(n) ghostly lifesaver and likes to be equipped with a possessive schoolbus, a flowery mug and a purple-blue lockpick. A proud resident of Holy Flooded Hall of Records in Honeyed Sunny City, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its sunny museums and subterranean cuisine. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 eyeballs?
- Mr. Jamal Chaospost, born 27 September 3127 AD on Avyoksietaep’vefuseltu (Gredi II), is a level 6 Chaotic Neutral necromancer and ronery anon of the flamingo race. Xe is depressed, sleepy and scandalously kamikaze on top and would totally fangasm upon encountering an ogre or elder while conversely cringing at the sight of a squid or hobo. Easily identifiable by xyr squamous makeup and holographic saliva, xe is usually seen wearing magenta antlers, a chalk medical eyepatch, yellow boxing gloves and a noumenal ball gag and likes to be equipped with a laser-emitting disembodied head, a polka-dot treasure map and a Mesoamerican can of strangelets. A proud resident of Sealed Infested Shrine in Sailpunk Rococopunk City, xe takes murderous offence at any attempts to insult its stratospheric academies and jagged soils. May we interest you in this customer for an upfront recurring weekly fee of 666 orc teeth?